People who are not into web dating are currently becoming aware that the popularity of online dating is increasing every year. As of 5-10 years ago, many people considered having a profile on a dating site something strange or even shameful. However, that narrative has changed in today’s world; it is a normal phenomenon. Today, every third person in the world has used dating services at least once in their life.
The advantages of this dating format from the point of view of an ordinary user are obvious: convenience, speed, and a huge number of potential new friends, or partners for relationships. What do psychologists say about this? Is everything clear? Or does web dating have serious disadvantages? Let’s figure it out!
Let’s start with some statistics
In 1992, when the Internet was in its infancy, less than 1% of people in the United States met on the Web. As early as 2009, 22% of heterosexual couples and 61% of same-gender couples had relationships online. Today, one-third of the world’s population uses or has used dating services. As a result, more than 17% of all modern marriages begin with online dating.
At this point, it is important to pay attention to the numbers. Evidently, for a long time, the most active social group in web dating was precisely the representatives of the LGBT community. That is people for whom building new social ties are somewhat difficult when society was not so loyal to people with non-traditional sexual orientation in the past. Psychological speaking, online dating is indeed a very important stage in the development of human relations in general, because it opens up new opportunities completely. But let’s get to the specifics!
What psychologists say
Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, and author of scientific papers in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest, says: “Online dating is great. They allow users to communicate with potential partners with whom they simply would not have a chance to meet offline. On the other hand, there are many things about the web dating industry that undermine its credibility.”
According to Finkel and some other experts, one of the weaknesses of online dating is a bind to profiles. In one way or another, you evaluate people by what they indicated in their profile. See photos, study the list of interests, get acquainted with a short biography, etc. The problem is that a significant part of Internet users either greatly embellish their image, or openly lie to look more attractive in the eyes of a potential partner.
Another serious problem with online dating regarding psychologists’ views is the lack of understanding of what a person really wants. Do they need a new relationship or just friendship? Or do they just want to chat with new people without any obligations and further development of relations?
Among other things, Eli J. Finkel draws attention to the development of a real addiction to online dating: “You can spend many hours studying profile after profile. However, this does not guarantee that you will get closer to that romantic meeting.”
Many psychologists agree that due to the abundance of profiles on the Internet, users become too picky and even judgmental. Finding a potential match is becoming less and less different, for example, it’s like choosing a new pair of shoes. You look at different options one by one, compare them, and note the pros and cons for yourself.
Harry Reis, Ph.D., and Professor of Psychology at the University of Rochester Medical Center put it this way: “Online dating cultivates a shopping mentality, and that’s probably not the best way to choose a partner.” According to Reis, too much communication on the Web can subsequently make it difficult to communicate in real life. Especially, if the conversations on the Internet are limited only to texting.
In the meantime, we offer a small blitz with the advantages and disadvantages of online dating from a psychological standpoint.
Advantages:
- feeling of freedom and confidence;
- more comfortable home environment;
- the opportunity to better show their positive qualities and hide some disadvantages;
- greater freedom in choosing potential partners;
- the actual absence of restrictions on the number of new acquaintances.
Disadvantages:
- turning the process of finding a soul mate into a routine;
- inability to objectively evaluate the interlocutor;
- a lot of omissions and outright lies on the Web.
However, the most important disadvantage (according to psychologists and ordinary users) is that classic dating sites and apps simply cannot fully replace live communication. This is true. Nonetheless, something can — video chat roulette!
Chat roulette: perhaps the best alternative to dating in the real world
The fact is that ordinary texting does not give such an effect on acquaintances as live communication. However, videochat roulette in which you see and hear the interlocutor is capable of becoming an alternative to offline meetings. In this case, you have eye contact (albeit through the screen), you do not just look at the image, but also hear the intonations of the voice, notice the gestures and body language of the interlocutor, and capture their mood. Almost like in real life!
The main objective at this point is to choose a playform that is right for you. There are more than enough options:
- Chatroulette — is the first video chatroulette in history. It is simple and quite easy to use, but with extremely mediocre moderation and a limited set of functions.
- CooMeet — is a chatroulet with an accurate gender filter and verified user members. It also offers convenient mobile applications for iOS and Android.
- Tinychat — is a video streaming service where you can host your broadcasts or watch other people’s streams. This is not quite suitable for dating but in general an interesting option.
- Chatous — is a roulette chat that combines the functions of a messenger. Here, you can easily exchange messages, and media files, and adequately communicate in video chat.
- Chatspin — is a simple and minimalistic chatroulette with built-in AR masks. A good choice for those who care about anonymity and confidentiality.
It is noteworthy that roulette chats eliminate several disadvantages of online dating. Firstly, they do not turn the search for a soulmate into a “product choice”, as classic dating sites and apps do. It is not surprising that during the pandemic, many dating services hastily introduced video chats to allow users to communicate and not just text. Demand for video communications has been and remains extremely high. The video services will surely increase to match demand.
Online dating is the future
Web dating has already become an integral part of the lives of many contemporaries. You do not need to be a qualified psychologist to understand how much it affects the formation of social bonds in the modern world. For clarity, in the US, 42% of couples aged 26 to 35 met online for the first time. Also, in the UK, 21% of couples aged 19 to 25 met online for the first time. On average, the number of marriages worldwide that began with dating on the Internet is 17% of the total. Isn’t this huge?
There is no doubt that in the future the number of relationships that began on the Web will only increase. Offline dating is gradually becoming a thing of the past. Currently, it is slightly impossible for people to get acquainted on the street or in public places. Almost everyone prefers to take their first step online because it is more convenient, easier, and safer.
Finally, according to Jeremy Dean, Ph.D., and founder of PsyBlog, internet users have become more honest in recent years than they used to be. Many talk about themselves quite honestly. They do not try to alter their biography and appropriate the merits that they do not have. Online dating is getting better. Definitely, this is a positive tendency.
